Arabic version: صعود نظرية التعلّق يثير دعوات إلى مزيد من التوازن
According to BBC News, attachment theory has moved into mainstream discussion, with TikTok videos tagged #AttachmentTheory drawing hundreds of millions of views. The framework, first developed in the 1950s by British psychiatrist John Bowlby, suggests that bonds with early caregivers shape expectations of relationships. Lizzy Smith said learning about fearful-avoidant attachment helped her understand why she would pull away when dating began to feel real.
The four styles are anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant and secure. Anxious attachment can involve worries about rejection or abandonment and a need for reassurance. Avoidant attachment is associated with prioritising independence and withdrawing from emotional closeness. Fearful-avoidant people may want connection but struggle to feel safe, while secure people are generally comfortable with closeness and independence, able to trust others and communicate their needs.
Dr Pascal Vrticka, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Essex, said attachment theory offers “one of the best explanations” for differences in how people seek support and connection. However, he warned that online interpretations can be “outdated, misinformed and, in the worst case, harmful”, particularly when people overgeneralise the theory or use it to reduce others to labels. He said attachment styles are not fixed, although change can be gradual and professional support may be needed for more entrenched patterns.
Dr Amir Levine, whose book Attached was co-written with Rachel Heller, focuses on how people can become more secure. He points to “SIMIs” — seemingly insignificant minor interactions — such as a friend checking in or a smile from a stranger. Levine said positive experiences can build evidence that others are trustworthy, and encouraged people to identify relationships that already make them feel safe and understood. Both Levine and Vrticka said attachment theory is most useful when it helps people understand patterns rather than define themselves.
